Perhaps there were clues being left for you, too. BIG CLUES. If you want to know if the phone’s ringing for you, see if you can identify any of these general behaviors:
* He no longer has a tan line.
* He has discovered manscaping.
* He hired a personal trainer.
* His underwear no longer has skid marks.
* He actually went out and bought his own underwear: silk boxers.
* He tells you he has to go look at a piece of property. At 9:30pm.
* He tells you he is working late. But his response when you ask him why he didn’t answer the phone at 10:00pm was, “I couldn’t hear the phone because it was on night bell.”
* He tells you he’s started playing golf. He doesn’t own any golf clubs.
* He bought new cologne.
* He decides to wash the windows without you having to ask.
* He went out for the Sunday paper. He didn’t come back until Wednesday.
* His cell phone requires a password to unlock the keypad.
* He has a new email address, LinkedIn account, Facebook page, etc.
* He showers frequently.
* He has a new hairstyle or clothing (that he bought himself).
* He drops off and picks up his own dry cleaning.
* He argues less and agrees more.
* He has late and “emergency” meetings or unexpected travel extensions.
* He has new friendships (male or female).
* He has decided to take up horseback riding.
* He has unexplained credit cards charges to places like “Snow Bunnies.”
* You go to the doctor and discover you have an STD.
* He looks too good to be true.
And now the Top Ten Tips for Divorcing Divas:
1.) Don’t panic. It’s always OK in the end; if it’s not OK, it’s not the end. While divorce might seem like the end of the world, there is a reason for the divorce. So in the “end,” you will have a better life.
2.) Take four steps forward: Speak with an attorney/mediator, a financial planner, a realtor, and a psychologist. These four people can help you get moving in the right direction.
3.) Surround yourself with supportive friends and family. In adverse situations, you always learn who your friends are, and who they aren’t. Leave behind the ones that are not supportive. Embrace the ones that are.
4.) Realize that your life will never be the same. That doesn’t mean you won’t have a good life—a better life. It just means it will be different. The sooner you can embrace your divorce, the sooner you will be able to move forward.
5.) Research all the possibilities. Read books, visit the Internet, and listen to tapes on the topic of divorce, but also on topics such as fear, serenity, hope, and overcoming obstacles.
6.) Do something special for yourself. Treat yourself to something that will make you feel pampered: a massage, a change in hair color, buy a new outfit, or take a trip.
7.) Don’t be your own enemy. Instead, ask yourself, “What am I supposed to learn from this marriage, and how might I do things differently in the future?”
8.) Remember: YOU are the source of your happiness, not somebody else.
9.) Learn to forgive. Harboring negative feelings will only slow down the progress of moving forward. Gather the tools and skills to find forgiveness through your church/synagogue, counseling, books and tapes, family and friends.
10.) Don’t forget to laugh! Laughter is still the best medicine!
Remember: It’s not the end… it’s the beginning!
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